Talking Virginity & Identity with Colton Underwood
We sat down with our friend and favorite Bachelor, Colton Underwood, while we were in LA to cocktail, catch up, ask inappropriate questions and have some laughs. Tune in for a story that he has never told before and to learn of the biggest misconception people have of him. We also talk all things sex - from losing virginity to how long sex should last for parents (he nails it). And we find out more about life after The Bachelor and Colton's exciting new project. Check out our conversation below and keep scrolling for highlights from this episode!
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KEY TAKEAWAYS:
There's a huge double-standard for men and women when it comes to sex and virginity. For men, especially, there's the notion that sex equals masculinity and the social pressure can make it difficult to stick to your beliefs. There is no right or wrong. Each person is on their own path and has to make that choice for themself.
When Colton was in the second grade, he was asked what he wanted to be when he grew up. He wrote football player. When his teacher told him to choose something "more realistic" (oh the irony!) he wrote, "Stay at home dad." Colton has always felt like he was born to be a dad, and he especially wants to be a "cool dad." We have no doubt, Colton. No doubt!
Colton struggled with self-esteem when he was in high school. As a chubby kid who wore glasses and braces, he found that he was a chameleon, changing himself to suit whatever friend group he was in. The journey of self-acceptance and figuring out your identity takes time and can't follow an exact schedule. For Colton, the biggest turning point was signing on for The Bachelorette. Reality TV was a catalyst in Colton finding himself.
The future isn't always clearly mapped out. Especially in an unconventional job where you have a platform and followers, people always want to know what's next. It's okay not to have it all figured out. Opportunities present themselves and take you in a direction you might not have foreseen. Be open to what comes your way.
Anxiety isn't a four-letter word. A lot of people face this struggle and he's one of them. Even public personalities with a big platforms can face social anxiety. There's no shame in admitting it and seeking the help you need, whether it's medicine or a pet.
As a product of divorce, you can come out the other side happy and well-adjusted.
The best thing a parent can do for their child, especially one who may be struggling with self-identity and self-esteem is to listen and observe. Only then can you have the right words to encourage your child. Availability is so important. Whether you're coaching your kids' teams or are involved in other ways, being there for your kids - even when they might not want you to be - can make all the difference.
MORE ABOUT COLTON:
Colton Underwood is an American television personality. He was a football tight end at Illinois State and was signed by the San Diego Chargers as an un-drafted free agent in 2014. He founded the Colton Underwood Legacy Foundation in honor of his cousin Harper to support people living with cystic fibrosis. His new book, The First Time: Finding Myself and Looking for Love on Reality TV debuts March 31.
Buy Colton's book here: The First Time: Finding Myself and Looking for Love on Reality TV
Find out how you can help support Colton's passion project: Colton's Legacy Foundation
And follow him here: Instagram