How to Believe in Yourself with Jamie Kern Lima
We were so excited to sit down with Jamie Kern Lima who we've connected with over social media but are finally just "meeting" now! Time literally flew by as we chatted with Jamie all about her journey working as a waitress, to launching a business in her living room, to becoming the CEO of a billion dollar company. She opened up about her failures, her victories and all of the lessons she's learned along the way. If you know you're made for more but are doubting yourself, you need to listen to this episode and then pre-order Jamie's new book: Believe IT. Her story and positive energy will inspire you to believe in yourself, trust your gut and know that you're enough.
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Together with her husband, Jamie founded a company called IT Cosmetics. She went from working as a waitress at Denny's to launching a dream in her living room! In the first few years of business, Jamie was constantly being rejected from all of the big beauty retailers. She went through a three-year season where she didn't know if she was going to make it, but eventually she got some "yeses" and continued on a 10-year journey of building IT Cosmetics, which is now the largest luxury makeup company in the country.
At the end of the day, Jamie describes herself as a mom and as a girl who went on a journey from being someone who didn't believe in herself and who spent her whole life doubting she was enough, to learning how to believe in and trust herself and know that she is enough. And she's honoured to share that journey with the world.
Jamie's new book Believe IT comes out on February 23rd and 95% of it is stuff she has never shared before. You can pre-order a copy here.
When you Google Jamie's story, you don't see everything she has gone through over the years. You just get the fairytale story, which is why people think she had connections or just got lucky, but that's not the case. Jamie dealt with a lot of rejection and a big part of her journey was how she handled it.
Everyone has dealt with some form of rejection in their life, but you have to be able to control your own inner critic from taking over. When we listen to our own inner critic and turn the volume up on that instead of learning how to turn it down, we end up literally talking ourselves out of our own truth and our own calling and our own purpose in this life. So one of our greatest journeys, especially as women and as moms, is learning how to turn down the volume of our inner critic.
In Believe IT, Jamie talks about dealing with her inner critic and she actually turns down an imaginary volume dial when she hears her inner critic come out and say that she's not qualified, or not enough, or any other negative thought or comparison.
Sometimes it's our partner, or our friends and family, or our kids who get in our way. They mean well but they say something that makes us question ourself. But Jamie has learned to literally imagine this volume dial and she turns down the critic on the daily. And then she intentionally imagines herself turning up the volume on other words that replace the negative ones, like "you're going to figure this out" or "you're going to work hard" or "you're not going to let 'no' stop you."
Jamie kept hearing "no" for the first three years in business and they got down to $1000 in their bank account (personal and company combined), but kept feeling in her intuition that she was supposed to be creating this makeup company that solved her own skin problems and also helped to shift the culture of the beauty industry and the images we see. She had a big dream and it kept feeling right, but sometimes we start to second-guess our own gut when there is no proof around us that we're right. All of the big beauty experts and retailers were rejecting her in the first three years (saying she wasn't the right fit, they didn't want to bet on her and they didn't think she'd make them money), there was no proof around her that she was going to make it, and her friends and family were worried about her. At the end of the day, learning how to turn down the volume on all of that - including her own self-doubt - and hearing her own gut was so important. Jamie admits she has done a million things wrong throughout her journey (which she also shares about in her book), but one of the things she did right was learn to listen to her own gut and make the decision to trust herself when her gut told her to keep going and reassured her that she was supposed to be doing this. It changed everything for her.
When you look at research, it shows that women won't ask for a raise until they meet 100% of the qualifications whereas men only meet 60% of the qualifications before asking for a promotion or applying for a job. And it's because from the time we're little, we become people pleasers, perfectionists, and we're scared to fail. We wait to go for our dream until we think the timing is perfect and only then will we take the big step and launch. We're doing such a disservice to ourselves because we end up never stepping into the person we're born to be. We end up staying in our comfort zone and letting it chip away at our soul.
Many people try and then fail and they feel crushed by the failure. They don't have it in them to keep going. But it's when you're not afraid to fail and you get rejected over and over again but you keep going that you can eventually reach your goal and make your dreams come true.
Jamie says that feedback is usually a gift, and she went on to share a story with us about a defining moment in her life that she'll never forget when she received honest "feedback" from a potential investor following a rejection (which will literally blow your mind). You'll have to tune in to hear the whole story, but two things happened in that moment (after she went to her car and bawled her eyes out). Jamie distinctly remembers having this feeling in her gut that the investor was wrong, and she also realized that he was passing on investing in her company because he was just as much impacted by the whole beauty industry that tells you that people have to look a certain way to make money. So this fuelled her to keep going, and the victory she experienced six years later was EPIC. You'll have to listen in for that too! There's a famous saying that rejection is God's (or the universe's) protection, and that was the case for Jamie. Sometimes you get rejected (and it sucks) but you have to keep that faith and believe in yourself.
It's also important to remember that just because you can handle failure and rejection, it doesn't mean you don't feel it. It can hurt. It can get you down. No one is immune to it, even if they've experienced it time and time again. But it's how you move through the failure or rejection that matters. It's not a weakness to feel your feelings. If you don't feel it, you don't grow from it.
Who we intentionally turn the volume up on in our lives is so important. In her book, Jamie shares how she brought different women into her life. They have different faiths, different backgrounds, they vote different, they love different, but the commonality is they authentically want the best for her and they'll call her out on her own BS. We all need those kind of friends in our life!
Jamie also learned a big lesson about girls and friendships throughout her journey when some of the other female brand founders around her (who she considered friends) were not happy for her when her brand started taking off and doing really well. Instead, they saw her success through the lens of their own fear. It was a really tough season for Jamie, but she came out of it with a big lesson that is huge for anyone dealing with comparison. She came out of this experience with the realization that we are not here to compete with anyone else. The only person we're here to compete with is literally the person we know we're born capable of becoming. She had this big epiphany that the victory is becoming the person we know we're capable of becoming, and anything else and anyone else is a distraction.
Jamie started applying these principles to her business because as they were growing (they built their company to over 1000 employees), she learned that you can't fake authenticity and that the biggest threat to her business wasn't the competition, it's if they were to ever get distracted by it and have it tempt them to dilute their own secret sauce. Because once you start diluting your own authenticity of the person you're born to be, that's the biggest recipe for failure. The biggest thing she has learned is that authenticity alone doesn't guarantee success, but inauthenticity guarantees failure. When people show up as their representative - who they think other people want them to be - in order to be successful, that just creates a barrier of disconnection between their community, or their customers, or their friends and partner.
Jamie sold IT Cosmetics to L’Oréal three and a half years ago and agreed to stay on as the CEO of the company for three years, which meant she was the first woman in their 100+ year history to hold a CEO title of any brand. What's amazing is that she started this business and couldn't even afford to pay herself for the first three years, so to then be acquired by L'Oreal and see inside of this massive company and travel to the headquarters in Paris was the coolest experience.
They doubled the size of the business in the first two years after L’Oréal bought the company, and Jamie ran it for three years. But about a year-and-a-half ago, Jamie had this feeling that she was supposed to give or serve at a whole new level and share everything she has gone through because she's learned that sharing with others is the most fulfilling and brings her the most joy. So, she decided to step away from the company. And sometimes knowing when to let go of a dream is just as important as knowing when to go after one. She had this knowing that it's time to use everything she has gone through to hopefully be of service to somebody else, so she sat down and wrote all 80,000 words in her book and here we are today!
MORE ABOUT JAMIE KERN LIMA:
Jamie Kern Lima started IT Cosmetics in her living room and grew the company into the largest luxury makeup brand in the country. She sold the company to L’Oréal in a billion-dollar deal and became the first female CEO of a brand in its history. Her love of her customers and remarkable authenticity and belief eventually landed her on the Forbes America’s Richest Self-Made Women list.
Jamie is a mother of two and an active investor, speaker, and thought leader who is passionate about inspiring and elevating girls, women and entrepreneurs. She has been featured on Good Morning America, Today, CBS This Morning, CNBC, Nightline and Joel Osteen and in The New York Times, O Oprah Magazine, PEOPLE, Marie Claire, Shape, Glamour, Cosmopolitan, New York Magazine, The Wall Street Journal and more.
Jamie currently owns part or all of more than 15 companies. She’s also an active philanthropist who has donated over $40 million in product and funds to help women face the effects of cancer with confidence. Jamie lives in Los Angeles with her husband Paulo, daughter Wonder, son Wilder and two French Bulldogs Rainbow and Sunshine.
Learn more at JamieKernLima.com.
Follow Jamie on Instagram.
Jamie’s new book 'Believe IT: How to Go from Underestimated to Unstoppable' hits shelves officially February 23rd. Part memoir, part manifesto, BELIEVE IT is packed with hard-won wisdom, powerful real-life stories, and key lessons aimed to light the path to personal and professional success for readers. 2020 has been a year filled with setbacks, divisiveness, and difficulties; BELIEVE IT is brimming with refreshing, uplifting, and actionable stories and tips that will truly inspire you to hope, dream, and believe with optimism again! PRE-ORDER YOUR COPY HERE.